How many times have you honestly and earnestly shared your hopes and dreams with not only the people closest to you, but friends, collogues and those who claimed they could help; only to hear words that hamper you and held you back. How many times were you stifled? And, how many times were you and your abilities to move forward held back. Did you feel trapped, frustrated, and beside yourself? Did you wonder when your chance was going to pan out? But instead, you were no further along on the pathway to the life you wanted to lead.

Well, my dear friends, I am writing this article because I have spent a lifetime not listening to those “Pearls of Wisdom.”

Again and again in every aspect of my life, I have turn the other check and found a way to accomplish what every expert and even my beloved family thought was impossible. But I “dreamed the impossible dream, and fought the unbeatable foe.” There are many times in my own personal life when I can remember reaching out to my mother, asking for help to get an education at a time when disabled people, with learning disabilities were not getting degree’s at all, and hearing my mother say… “Why don’t you just accept yourself the way you are instead of forcing and fighting your learning disability to make the impossible happen. Upset, and even more determined, I kept walking through the storm. I kept forging forward even though I was told what I was told. I smiled, grinned and beard it, but was not going to let my mother’s words and her beliefs about me affect me or hamper my quest.
While I knew my mother was being very loving toward me, I also knew that I would not have a place in society, and at the table if I did not push forward and make every attempt and effort to make my life happen.

When I finally got my degree no one was happier than my mother and me. She was the only one who knew what I went threw day in and day out. She came up to me, wrapped her loving arms around me, and hugged and kissed me in the fashion I knew so well. Then, all of a sudden, I found her whispering in my ear… I’m sorry Kranalala” You don’t know, or maybe you do know what this meant to me. It made me radiate with happiness. It made me radiate from within out. And, it made me radiate with sheer joy and bliss because I had reached one of my first unreachable dreams. It was not just hearing my mother’s words of acceptance and love, but knowing that I listened to myself, my heart, and my drummer, and followed a long and arduous pursuit of mine, of which I had just accomplished.

On that day of mine, I learned one very important lesson. That lesson was to always follow your own heart and to stay true to your own dreams and what you know about yourself. People can say what ever they want. But, if you know the truth within yourself that’s what matters! No matter what is said, there are always ways one can still make things happen. You can set yourself free and you can set yourself apart from everything other people say and think about you. You can hold your head high, reaffirm the truth of your own self and own abilities, and walk past and through all obstacles. It is all up to you. It is in your own attitude and belief. Know one can take that away from you if you truly believe in yourself. It may not be the next day, week, month, or year that you get whatever you desire. But it will happen if you stay the course.

You don’t have to be mean, nasty, or get in people’s faces for giving there own opinion, but you can rise above, be eloquent and poised, and accomplish your goals with dignity in a timely, peaceful manor.

How many of you with some kind of impairment or challenge have felt left behind because you were not accepted? How many of you wanted to be given a chance to show your talents and abilities to the world around you? And, how many of you wanted to move forward with a positive attitude, but were held back because it was inconvenient for someone else?
What a shame it is that a country so vast, so smart, and so sophisticated turns its back on the talents and needs of the most under-developed population. Not so much the visually, or hearing impaired; but individuals with Cerebral Palsy and other mobility or speech impairments which are either left to solve there own problems, or are locked away in group homes, or forced to be monitored by an army of social workers who want total control of there being. Moreover, we are told time and again that we are incapable and cannot work. We are told to our faces that it’s better for everyone if we just stay at home, aren’t seen, and collect a social security check for the rest of our lives.
How sad is that? How sad is it that a group of people or a government of people will not accept us as human beings. How sad is it that we are put here on this earth, but have to struggle all our lives!
What is wrong with the picture? And, what is wrong with the world? And why do “we” have to suffer? Why?
I can’t live with this injustice, discrimination, and humiliation any more! Why, you might be asking yourself? Because this happened to me. So I’m the first to balk. I’ll be the first to admit the truth. And I’ll be the first to share it honestly and openly with the world so that good change can come from it.
Has this happened to you?

These “experts” have only one set of options. And these options don’t usually include making our lives better. What’s more, is that these options limit rather than increase our control over our own lives. It segregates us from society, and denies us our birth right and equal status as individuals and Americans. We were put on this earth to have the opportunity to develop and make use of whatever talents and brains that God gave us. Just because we were paralyzed does not mean we don’t have sense about us to think, act, or perform a given task, or duty we would love to do. Why shouldn’t we then, be treated or given the same opportunities? Are we so ugly to look at, we have to be locked away in a closet?
Time after time, we do as we are told like good little children, although we get nowhere fast. Once again, we are not taken seriously, and we are disrespected and discounted. This must end! And so must these despicable attitudes from people who make up a world who don’t want anything to do with us or change.

What does it feel like to give birth to something that no one else has ever conceived of? And what does it feel like to bring to the forefront idea’s that could change disabled men and women’s lives for ever? Well, I’ll tell you. I think it takes a dedicated, in-tune, and highly motivated person to bring ideas to the front- line of society which no one else has had the courage to challenge.
The birth of Audacity Magazine has opened the doors, I’m sure for many. Not just for those writers, like me, who have some kind of physical disability or special needs who audaciously want to make this not only a better place for others, but also wants to bring a cutting-edge approach to those issues at hand, that affect so many of us; which are so easily swept under the carpet. But, also, has brought food for thought for 6 years now to all of its readers and subscribers.
This magazine has brought to its readers a cheeky, daring, and fearless way of approaching the truth from a different perspective and point of view. Its angle has come from the disability community. Its thoughts! Its words! And, all its power! Focusing, directly, on the issues of the day-
I’m sure; the birth of this magazine took to heart all the issues and fragile topics of its disabled population. I’m sure, that when the first issue appeared online; it was a very happy, joyous, momentous, occasion. I’m sure it brought an inward satisfaction to Natasha, the founder of Audacity. To see something materialize, from nothing; and to be shaped, formed, and molded from scratch, that truly, must have been gratifying, indeed. And, to be so focused, so dedicated, and so committed to nurture, and develop, story after story, month after month, year, after year, took much planning, much pride, and much perseverance.
To have the ability to not only write, and to educate, but to shape and influences other people’s thoughts and views is highly commendable. It takes a person with great vision to broaden one’s opinion and scope- it takes an idea, an act, and a concept to bring such a dream to pass. It took a creative energy, to bring about the birth of this magazine. Thus, let’s light Audacity’s birthday cake with 7 brightly lit candles, to light its way for its fruitful year ahead.

In my last article, I wrote about people bullying others. Well today, my dear readers, I am going to take this topic a step further. I am going to expand and give more detail about how this thinking applies in other parts of our lives. The hardest part of our existences; whether disabled or not, is learning to get along with everybody. It is in the learning to maneuver, in staying neutral, and the ability to adapt, and adjust, that we find our greatest challenges and joys. Many in our community must be very smart in finding a way to alter outworn concepts about what we are capable of. When a person has to spends three and a half decades trying to make the degree they won pay off, in terms of the job they deserve without much luck, something is defiantly and undeniably wrong. Still, when doctorial candidates’ will travel the world wide, prove they are capable of making and taking the journey, and come home only to be told by a group of experts that they are better off in a workshop; something unmistakably is wrong. Why is it that when a person such as myself wants to achieve and go forth with their degrees or desires they are subtly blocked and artfully discredited. What is it that has damaged the thinking of our countries leadership? I can not understand why genuine leaders are ignored while people get degrees in phone sex, and jobs based on a false concept of sympathy rather on ability. What makes our drive unnoticed? What make our situation so different. And what makes people so reluctant to help us and hire us? That is the hardest thing to deal with, the awareness that we are tolerated not included. And we come off to these experts as “non included, separated; after thoughts.” Thus, the people in our community are an untapped resource. All of our problem solving, all of our flexibility, and all of our talents are going to sheer waste. Decade, after decade, after decade!
Never in the United States history, has our country been in grater need of a group of individuals, skilled in problem-solving, time management, flexibility, and a strong will. Never in its history have they looked beyond book documentation to free and let our people have the chances, the opportunities, and the favorable time or set circumstance to do a job they so deserve. Every one of you reading this article has accomplished many great challenges, I’m sure. We are conquering everyday problems which the rest of the world, I’m sure, couldn’t handle. If faced with our level of difficulty, most people would collapse at the onset. So, I ask you, what would be then, so terrible, awful, or extremely bad, about turning us all loose to over-come and take control of our own lives and problems. Thus, I ask you again, candidly, What would be so dreadful if we were finally given a change. What would be so horrific if we were able to sit down at the table, equally, amongst our peers, and leaders? What would be so shocking, if all of us; not just the select few of our excepted leaders, in our community, could actively influence policy. What would be so earth-shattering if people were willing to analyze and inculcate our views about the contribution we are making to society.
How could this be possible? It is definitely simpler than it looks. We only have to abandon the comfortable idea that experts will make all our decisions and supply all our wants. I ask you , again. What is wrong with that picture? The frame does not fit, nor, is the color correct. So, we must make a new picture. We must take back the right to determine our own path.

I have heard a lot of commentary about kids bullying others, and then those same children who could not handle the making fun of any longer; killing themselves or hurting someone. Many people do not know how much that actually happens in the disabled community. But it does. Sometimes its even worse than out in the “regular world.” I know this because I lived through it, and experienced it a number of times first hand.
When I was a child the kids around me would chastise me for having an over-weight parent. Time and again, they would say mean and cruel words that stung deeply; of which all I could do was swallow what they just said, and turn the other cheek. Still another time, I was directly bullied by the classmate’s in my classroom. I was a quiet, demure, good-hearted child, who never thought twice about saying something or doing something down right nasty just for the sake or fun of it.
Yet, I had classmate’s that did just that! I experienced a practical awareness of people who came up to my personhood, stared me in the face, spouted nasty, sweet, nothings to me directly, grab my work assignments right from under my very nose, and ripped then to shreds. Still another time, as an adult mind you; while teaching a young client who had C.P., I was directly ostracize because she felt she had a right to mock my movements. Obviously, someone put this in her mind. Where did she get this from. Was it her wealthy background, her being the eldest child, or her controlling, manipulative ways. Was she made fun of by others, herself? Or, did she believe that making fun would get her somewhere?
What she did not realize was she was also making fun of herself. With a stern, caring, compassionate, human side, I professionally sat her down; and reminded her that she too had a disability, and while it was the same, yet different, she would not like it if someone made fun of her. People are not aware of how much there words can impact people around them. It would be very useful if we all took the time to think before we hurt someone’s feeling. If we perhaps, really took the time to be careful there would be a whole lot less suffering and tragedy.

Recently, I have been subjected and exposed to spending time with a specific group of people whom, I’d really rather not keep company with at all. But, because I had no other choice; and, because I do my emotional home work to look beyond all past experiences, I did my utmost to make good out of an on-going, negative, one sided, opinionated event, so I agreed.
However, in spite of all my hard work, and my good-naturedness, I was conversely made to be the enemy. I was conversely used and taken advantage of solely so my company could achieve their means to there end. Once again, these experiences have taught me another life altering lesson. Whether they have been immediate family, or sheer acquaintances, I have learned once again that there aren’t two people in this vast universe who see things exactly alike.
There is a much larger, grander issue here. This issue concerns a comfort level of ordinary people with those with disabilities, stepping out into full and self-directed participation in life. This issue is not something everyone is use to. This concern is at its root, a fear of having to approach events with honesty and directness. The facts of our lives require a forthrightness most of society has abandoned. Most of the world conducts itself with comfortable, passive, banality. People would rather not be reminded that the world is more complex than they would like to believe.
Thankfully, our achievements have broken down the old out-moted views which seemed to be comfortable for most. In everything we say and do, we are forcing the world to understand that disability does not mean isolation in comfortable seclusion. Nor, does it mean, to directly hurt someone in pursuit of a goal. Rather, we are stretching body, mind, and spirit towards our place in the sunshine.

Isn’t it interesting, that still, in today’s society, we find indentations and grooves chiseled out in our expansive society which tries to prevent and stop our disabled population, our seniors, our financially limited person, and the less affluent from truly surviving, staying a float, or earning a decent living of their own.

How many times have you seen in the lower economic areas prices being hiked up, and increased? You would think it would be just the opposite, wouldn’t you? Well, that is not the case at all. Prices seem to soar and swell in the location and locality that need to hang on to it the most. Even though our funds are limited, and we want to use our cash wisely, we cannot. We are looked at differently, talked to differently, and come across with a different social and economic regard. We are in an unlike economic community that has been lock in, dead bolted, and padlocked for life.

The money in which we receive from one’s supplemental income aught not be frittered away by the interested parties which specifically aim, and aspire to zero in and target. Where is the social justice and the true moral concern? Where is the moral competence of big business or government to rein in and stop these unfairness’? When will big brother take responsibility and be accountable for their acts of immoral travesties? And, when will they stop taking advantage of, and stop gouging the weakest link.

If you look carefully you will find your friendly neighborhood markets, gas stations, medical facilities, employers, prescription drug companies, independent living facilities, transportation services; all giving us the least amount of respect, supply, and conveniences, for the most buck! They smile at us sweetly while they score and gouge us royally. We pay more out of pocket expenses while the pharmaceutical drug companies profit and get rich.

We as a community are sadly being faced with the realities of price discrimination while being charged retail prices. We are penalized economically, by being strictly limited by a basic welfare wage. First because we are a less net cost to society; and second, because we are disabled. We are exploited. It cost the government more to train us, teach us, coach us; and get equipment for us, thus, as a result, we are denied and deterred employment. We are subjugated in the unjust way that we are because the disabled are so called “in a depended role,” we daily, are not to be taken seriously. Nor, can we be represented because of this. They are not meeting our needs at all- we live well below poverty level, yet what positive actions do we see the government and all it constituents to make a difference in our lives? Do they do anything to help those who what to do something about there own circumstances? Do they reach there hand out to help us climb out and move up the ladder?

We also are charged double the price for prescription drugs, while drug makers are giving favor to their most valued customers. Because of our enormous collective buying power, we, the Medicare beneficiary practice price discrimination. Moreover, how many of us in the last three or four years pay for a Medicare prescription drug plan monthly, but don’t use it at all because we can’t take drugs due to allergies or allergic reactions towards them? It seems as though our monthly checks don’t even get us through the month. The more we try to rise out of the trenches of the system, the more stumbling blocks, obstructions, and blockades we have to scale. We are not treated with a social justice or a moral competence. We as the disable community pay extra coast out of pocket which we really don’t have. There are laws which have been put together to pray on the weakest in society.

So what will you say or do to help to change this desperately needed basis?

Now is your time to speak out. Take a risk. Stand up for yourself and for your life, and what you rightfully deserve. Let your voice be heard. Pay it forward. While you help yourself, you will be standing up, and positioning yourself to form an ever lasting link. Let your voice be that moral voice to be reckoned with. Don’t be afraid of your politician, your friends, or family and what they may say or think. I’m sure they will respect you if not now, later! Speak out for what you believe in! Reach out to make your thoughts and feelings known! If you don’t share them, these politicians will never know! That is the only way change will ever happen. That is the only way we will be taking action to make this a kinder gentler place for all of us. We will become partners in the disabled community, and our voices will be heard. That is the only way we will be recognized. The only way we will be taken seriously, And, the only way we will be listen to!
Let us unite. Let us come together. We must join forces. We must bridge the gap, more now than ever before. We must share our stories with people in power and office. We must make a difference in our community and society. It all starts with us- We must speak out with everything we’ve got- In this way; we will form a bond, a friendship, an attachment, and a connection that can never be broken.

We will form a more perfect union to pass on to other generations to come. We must speak out and make that difference to change laws and regulations that prey on the weakest person in society. We must engage ourselves in what ever way we can to make our voices, our word, our influence, our right-to-be-heard, our vote, or even our own say so to bring equality and justice for disabled people nation wide to enact equality for all. We must not think twice of judging or condemning. We must not look down upon ourselves or our name as disabled human beings. We need to work together, as a team to vindicate and restore our sweet name as disabled men and woman who did not choose to be handicap at all or be paralyzed with special needs. And, most importantly, we must put a stop towards this inhumane, immoral, unsocial way of life. We must fill up every hole and crack, and have each of our priceless penny’s begin to count.

How many times in your life have you not been given credit for something you outstandingly accomplished? How many times were your efforts gone unnoticed? And, how many times did some body else take the credit for your hard work? This happens a lot to people with disabilities. Too often our work is seen as something to keep us busy and occupied, rather than something of meaning and purpose. Because people outside the disabled circle seem to believe that our lives don’t need the same kind of depth, acknowledgement, praise, or honor to express warm approval or admiration for the work we have done. We are given little recognition which is so deserved. Time and time again, our efforts, our ethics, and our labor get either brushed over or disregarded. Persons in high raking positions, who have no disabilities of there own, have a special way of usurping every opportunity that comes our way.

They seem to have a unique and inimitable way of allowing us to do the work for which they take full credit for. There are many deceitful examples. One time, in transition, while waiting for the verdict of my Civil Rights Case, I was working as an assistant recreation director. I went above and beyond, and took on responsibilities that normally would fall to my boss. But me being me, I took them on. Unfortunately, my efforts were not valued or taken seriously.

Once again, I was treated as though I was mentally retarded; and should go back to the workshops. It was thought and non-verbally expressed that I should do his work, while he received all the accolades. This idea was demonstrated in the general approach which was taken towards the management of our responsibilities within this care facility. I naturally grasped and took upon myself the many details in organizing care plans, putting on events, and teaching fitness classes; along with giving each client the respect, the dignity, the decorum, and care they unconditionally needed and deserved.

Most the time, my boss would show his face in the early part of the morning, disappear for eight hours, and reappear at the days end. Meanwhile, I had been progressing, and achieving and doing all his work. I put in long, grueling hours out of the goodness of my heart. I learned the ropes of the trade due to his negligence and unconcern. He was cold and hardened and looked out just for himself. He did not think of others around him and what his affects would be on them.

This man had the nerve to claim, “all I did was visit patience and make them happy…” His inaccurate, condescending and disdainful statements made me look as if I was incompetent of doing my job. He made me look as though I was incapable of holding my position or caring out the duties at hand. He also damaged my reputation and caused much strife.

Why is it that these people have to cause others such horrific and horrendous, pain? Why does our society promote one- manship of cruelty, instead of goodness? Why are there clicks where mean and cure things are said, and act performed? And why are people so jealous of those who give there all? Are they threatened Of us? Tell me, please! Why does mankind turn on there own? Is it ego, or greed? Is it power because they have something missing within themselves? Is it revenge because of something that happened in childhood? Are they just outright mean and cruel and have to hurt those who try their hardest and give there all!

What happened to being happy for someone else, and working together for the good of all? What happened to doing unto others as you would like done unto you? These irrefutable acts hurt the people who want to be included in society the most. While these people know how to sniff us out, and put us where they think we belong. They get off scott free for a while, but it always comes back.

It is the primary task of all of us who have a disability to demonstrate our own achievements in every aspect of our life. We need to show and teach the world by action and deed just how much we have to offer the world, and will accomplish. We need society to treat us seriously. We need society to get honest and stay honest. And, we need society to own up to the many narratives they have done to hold and keep us back. We need our country, and our members of government officially responsible to begin to recognize our untapped leaders in our own communities. It is far better for society if its leaders come from a people which have born “the heat of battle in the noon day sun.” Because you see, as a community, we have been tested and hardened by the struggle to survive. We have also understood the need to work interdependently for mutual benefits. These are the skills which our country requires of it leaders. So why not us, too! Why not then give us a voice and a say so in the leadership of the republic. Why keep us hidden in the shadows?

“What’s in a name?” Shakespeare wrote in Romeo and Juliet. “That which we call a rose by any other name smell as sweet.” I ask you, what do you think of the word Handicap? How does it affect you? How does it make you feel? And, how does it digest within your own conscious and subconscious being. Does it make you angry, hurt, enraged, or does it make you feel beside yourself? Does it leave a bitter taste in your mouth, or does it make you feel more at ease or comfortable?

There are so many definitions for this word; handicappable, disabled, cripple, and challenged; these are only a few descriptives’ that are used regularly throughout our world today. Each on there own, carry a big weight. Each, by themselves, takes on a whole new meaning, connotation, and undertone. Depending on how we see, think, and perceive things, within our own selves, lives, and the world around us. That will be the ultimate determining factor. It all depends on how we see things and look at life. Our impressions, perceptions, and concepts- This is called our belief structure. All of these factors make up conviction. Particularly, what we were taught by our own parents; friends, and family members.

Each feeling, and each judgment, based on reason or actual experience, along with specific prejudices and pre-conceived opinions and ideas can and will affect us, as well as alter how we live, and view the world and people around us. They can all vary a person’s belief system. What one person thinks is positive; another could find it down right rude and insulting. I pose this to my readers to not only open up this word for discussion, and dialogue, but to create a safe, and secure atmosphere where we all can talk freely and openly as well as acquire the benefit of each others experience, so that we can gain a whole new outlook, understanding of, and interpretation to not only encounter what that word means to us, but, what it means to each other, and all it represents.

Having Cerebral Palsy, myself, and hearing these words all my life makes me think about how others feel. It makes me want to ask questions, see how other people think, deal with, and react to these words; but it especially make me what to know how you have been swayed and molded. It is an unavoidable reality that these physical challenges and daily occurrences change how we all look and deal with life on a daily basis. They are all too real. It not only impacts other people’s lives and attitudes, but it affects those directly closes to us. It absolutely affects whom and what we are; as we can see concrete results taking hold in all areas of our daily lives. We are an exceptionally aware species, who have a six sense. We can tell when others hold back what they truly feel, when one interjects with a conniving control, and begins to assign rules and regulations of what we are and aren’t truly capable of doing and becoming.

Why, you may be asking yourself? Well, because people will be people. People well look at us and judge us thought their own prism of experience. They will look at us through their own light and transparency. They will intellectually think they know better or more then us. That is why it is so very important to analyze our own thinking, our own attitudes, and our inner most thoughts.

There are so many old fashion words, and terminologies that are still used in today’s culture and society that are derogatory, and show a critical or disrespectful, disregard for us as people. Even though out-mouted, these words are still used. They seek to limit us as individuals and our dignity as human beings. They take away all our pride to move forward. Some of these ideas and concepts sell a forced notion and an obligation of what we are and are not allowed to become. In every aspect of our lives, there is an entire set of rules and regulations written and unwritten which the general public believes and leans towards. It is imperative that each of us, in our own way, search our souls at our core root, and make a conscious choice to be visible, and communicate these feelings within our community.
The more active we communicate and share, the more confident we become. We gain a self-worth to reach out more to others, as we inspire and encourage. As we do this, we summon up hope for all. We help others to get out of themselves, as we aspire others to think new thoughts, and reach for new goals. Moreover, the more we engage freely in all activities, the more empower we become. Not just to help ourselves, but to help each other as, we breakdown the walls of isolation, separation, and exclusion. We easily and effortlessly introduce new ideas and ways to look and maneuver through life.

The more active and willing we become, the more engaged and committed we become to give back and make a difference in our community, in the things we say, and the friendships we have entrust, the more we summon up and invoke a new belief system. We initiate insightful meaning in things we share dialogue about. We have a chance to make a difference, open up new channels, and make new passages towards the way people talk, think about us, and use words from there heart. By being mindful, sympathetic, and conscientious, people will learn to treat us with dignity, and respect. By doing so, we will be passing it forward. We will be making a difference, and hopefully, change people’s attitudes. Perhaps one day they won’t utter words of contempt. Life will takes on a whole new meaning as we become a vital voice, and source contributing to everyone in our community.

In closing, I think the most important thing to remember is to retain ultimate decision making over our own lives. That is the only way we can thrive and survive in this world. That is the only way we can make a true difference. It is the main ingredient to live up to our fullest potential. This way, we will demonstrate to all those around us that our word and desires mean something and have merit. We will exhibit to the world that we want our thoughts, and our desires to be taken seriously. We will show everyone that these wishes are to be reached for and to be fulfilled. And that no one can take them away from us. No one!

By demonstrating our determination and staying steadfast to our thoughts and beliefs, we will teach the world and the people around us that our word means something and warrants respect, admiration, credibility, and is to be valued with high-regard. If we hold fast to these truths at our core the impossible will become possible!

One Handed Wonder

Most of my articles, for the past two years, have focused in on emotions and feelings, advocacy, and, the daily struggle of living with Cerebral Palsy. My articles also have focused in on trying to maneuver amongst society, while maintaining self direction, and dignity.

For this month, I would like to focus in on a lighter issue. I would like to focus in on daily living skills. I would also like to focus in on left or right sided paralyses. From a very early age of 18 months old, I can remember my dear, sweet, Mama Katie teaching me to contribute to the house hold, even though I had the use of only one side of my body. I can vividly recall my mama calling out to me and asking me to help her clean. She would come into the living room, hand me a dust rag, and ask me in this wonderfully, sweet, New York accent to help Mama dust the legs on the coffee table. I was only 18 months old, and at that very, young, impressionable age, I can remember smiling and wanting to help. I can remember feeling good about doing what she asked of me, and, about myself.

Most people would not have believed that a child with a disability could do such a thing. But I did. Some how, deep in my mother’s progressive gut, she really, truly, understood something that the experts did not. Now a days, their is a lot of talk about progressive technology and voice activated equipment. However, you don’t hear much about anyone talking about left or right hemiplegia people, learning how to use there good side of their body’s to accomplish every day living tasks.

My mother some how instinctively knew that it would benefit the both of us if I could lead a normal life. This was unheard of during the time I grew up. Parents were taught that there was not much hope for their child, such as I. The fact that I learned these things at such a young age, that it was gentle, and non-treating, made me willing to help and learn. These skills would come in good use when I got a bit older. No one knew in my family what was yet to come. But the handy, useful, hands on approach, and teaching techniques of daily living skills, came in good use when my mother became a single parent, and at fourteen years old, I ran the house hold, while my mother worked and ran our business.

It felt good to know that my mother could lean on me. It felt even better to know that she did not have to worry about me or the house. I would get off the school bus, at about 4 O’ clock in the afternoon. I would put my books away, get my jeans and tee shirt on, and start in with the laundry. Oh how good it felt to know that I was helping my Mama. It felt nice to know that Mama could come home to a clean, spotless home with dinner waiting for her on the table.
It felt so good to know in my heart that I could be independent.

That I could be trusted. And it built my self- confidence and self-worth. I felt useful. I felt like I was doing something constitutive, special, and, felt like I was conquering things in my life like everybody else without a disability. Sometimes I think about all those many years ago, when my mother and I took on all the negative ideas about what a young girl with C.P. could and could not do. I hope the image of that girl will bring encouragement to you when you face something that seems hard. It might help you to remember that this was something that my mother and I decided to take on. This was something I did to help me become who I am, and what I have became today. Thankfully, this was not a goal that experts wrote down in an IEP report to gather dust in an archive.