After another year winds to a close, I have often been moved deeply. The years, months, days and hours past through my heart and mind like a stamp stuck on paper.
It takes me back to all those moments and times that people’s arrogance and assumptions held me back from what I was trying to do.
Because of my rebelish nature, I was not only able to survive but thrive. I was able to do a lot which people in power, thought was impossible. But it would be very naïve of me not to tell you of the extra effort I have had to spend because of what people in the twentieth century were taught to believe about my disability.
I can’t help but think about these moments going around and around in my head when I reflect about how much time has had to go by. Time that I could have been contributing to a caring world- Time that could have healed all wounds by a simple gesture of acceptance- Time that could have carved out recognition for not just me, but for our whole community.
Instead, I have had to run up over and over again against the electric chair of official stupidity. Of official neglect- And, of voluntarily lowing of self!
I have had to beg time and again, as I have had to explain the obvious to every expert imaginable shape and size.
What I knew was never enough. It had to be done on their terms.
I was labeled and mislabel mentally retarded all because of an IQ test, and people in power who only pretended to know what they were doing.
Fifty-eight years have gone by. Fifty-eight years of sheer hell on earth. Fifty-eight years which I have smiled, grinned, and bared it, and made bearable. For what?
But who will give me my youth back? Who will give me the degree I was so worthy of? And, who will give me the job or recognition I have busted my buns for? Whom, I ask? Whom?
Why do I have to be tide to a stake for someone to gloat over? Why do I have to suffer for someone else’s arrogance? Why did I have to waste my whole life away?

Karen Lynn

Hey guys and gals,
just wanted to throw out some goals and aspirations for the new year.
1) I am going to attempy to write a screen play, based off a few chapters of my current book “The Emotional Struggle”. I’ve got no experience with writing screen plays, but with help of a book called “Story” it should be all that is needed. After that I am going to look into getting a camera and creating it into an indy film, make it the best it can be, and then enter it into some indy film festivals. This has been an idea of mine for a good while now, so I’m interested in how this will play out.
2) I’m gonna start throwing money into my savings acoount, I don’t think it’s ever to late to do that. (Well it might be for some) haha!
3) Be less critical of myself.
4) I wanna meet a great girl, and I won’t settle for anything less than amazing. She has to “Complete” me. that’s a joke.. Don’t freak out, I know no one person is going to complete me, but she had better be pretty darn close to it!
5) I want to be a better public speaking figure, and learn to relax more with a mic in my hand.
6) Give myself the grace I know that I’ve not allowed myself.
7) Be in better shape.
Not care about what people may think of me.
9) Face my fear of dying. (Not sure how that’s going to happen though)
10) Be able to communicate my faith better.
11) Discover what it looks like to have a faith that is not centered around polictics.
12) Learn to quiet my brain, and listen for truth about who I am.
13) Pour myself out, until I’m called home. This is something that is a life long goal.
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Beyond all this I’m working on a second book still, I thought I had a general direction, but I might scrap it all together. Life is crazy, I’m goig to be an uncle, training my new dog NOT to releave himself on my bed or carpet. Please continue to pray for me, our troops, nation and that I might be able to clear my mind and heart.
Love,
-Brandon

Shalom everyone,
I hope that you all are well today. Nebraska is crazy, this morning while I was eating with my Dad. We both saw snow flurries. Now as I look out my office window, the sun is out. This is some serious bi-polar weather. But it’s okay.
Eventually, I will be recording some video blogs. Just to make things a bit more personal, being the artist that I am. They must be quality. The past several days I’ve recieved a handful of emails from mothers that have a child with Cerebral Palsy. It’s been an honor to share my experiences with my condition, and at the same time, be there to offer hope.
It’s been two years since The Emotional Struggle was first released to the general public. Honestly, it still feels like yesterday. And it also feels like I’ve only just started to scratch the tip of the iceburge. More and more teens are flocking to it. More bands are starting to read it. And the midst of everything, I’m on the second chapter of my new book. The writing process has be some what nerve wracking.
I’m well aware that I’m very critical of myself of myself. So I’m doing what I did with my first book, I’m letting it all out, holding nothing back. Sharing my experiences in life and being a single male. So far it’s been very healing, I’ve felt a lot of release in writing these pages. But it’s just the start of what I think will be a wonderful work of art.
Please keep buying my first book, give it as a gift to anyone you feel might gain something from reading it!
-Brandon

How many times have you honestly and earnestly shared your hopes and dreams with not only the people closest to you, but friends, collogues and those who claimed they could help; only to hear words that hamper you and held you back. How many times were you stifled? And, how many times were you and your abilities to move forward held back. Did you feel trapped, frustrated, and beside yourself? Did you wonder when your chance was going to pan out? But instead, you were no further along on the pathway to the life you wanted to lead.

Well, my dear friends, I am writing this article because I have spent a lifetime not listening to those “Pearls of Wisdom.”

Again and again in every aspect of my life, I have turn the other check and found a way to accomplish what every expert and even my beloved family thought was impossible. But I “dreamed the impossible dream, and fought the unbeatable foe.” There are many times in my own personal life when I can remember reaching out to my mother, asking for help to get an education at a time when disabled people, with learning disabilities were not getting degree’s at all, and hearing my mother say… “Why don’t you just accept yourself the way you are instead of forcing and fighting your learning disability to make the impossible happen. Upset, and even more determined, I kept walking through the storm. I kept forging forward even though I was told what I was told. I smiled, grinned and beard it, but was not going to let my mother’s words and her beliefs about me affect me or hamper my quest.
While I knew my mother was being very loving toward me, I also knew that I would not have a place in society, and at the table if I did not push forward and make every attempt and effort to make my life happen.

When I finally got my degree no one was happier than my mother and me. She was the only one who knew what I went threw day in and day out. She came up to me, wrapped her loving arms around me, and hugged and kissed me in the fashion I knew so well. Then, all of a sudden, I found her whispering in my ear… I’m sorry Kranalala” You don’t know, or maybe you do know what this meant to me. It made me radiate with happiness. It made me radiate from within out. And, it made me radiate with sheer joy and bliss because I had reached one of my first unreachable dreams. It was not just hearing my mother’s words of acceptance and love, but knowing that I listened to myself, my heart, and my drummer, and followed a long and arduous pursuit of mine, of which I had just accomplished.

On that day of mine, I learned one very important lesson. That lesson was to always follow your own heart and to stay true to your own dreams and what you know about yourself. People can say what ever they want. But, if you know the truth within yourself that’s what matters! No matter what is said, there are always ways one can still make things happen. You can set yourself free and you can set yourself apart from everything other people say and think about you. You can hold your head high, reaffirm the truth of your own self and own abilities, and walk past and through all obstacles. It is all up to you. It is in your own attitude and belief. Know one can take that away from you if you truly believe in yourself. It may not be the next day, week, month, or year that you get whatever you desire. But it will happen if you stay the course.

You don’t have to be mean, nasty, or get in people’s faces for giving there own opinion, but you can rise above, be eloquent and poised, and accomplish your goals with dignity in a timely, peaceful manor.

I would like to first say, that I’m pleased to announce that The Emotional Struggle is now being sold in the United Kingdom. And while it may only be through an online store, the thought just makes me grin from ear to ear. So I’m now dedicating all my efforts to promoting internationally. I may or may not be be recieving help from a marketing company.

It all comes down to money ,(it almost always does) also you can now find me on Google Books! Exciting stuff huh? I think so… Any how, recently I recieved an instant message from an online friend. She was apperantly reading through some of my blogs, and became a bit steemed with me. I’m not a huge fan of contriversy, but I decided to be apart of the conversation.
Her first comment was directed at the fact that, my blogs seem a bit gloomy. And that she did not understand my darkness. She also is physically challenged and is far worse of than myself. The conversation basicly was one sided, she was telling me her story, and the more that she told me, the more it became clear to me that her problem isn’t so much with me, as it is within herself, her skin and God.
This blog is not an attempt to point a finger at her, but more so a way to bring about a collective message. The message has to do with our dreams. Some of us have just stopped all together, or no longer feel the need. I know I speak of dreaming a lot. Because it’s so vital, how many times through out the Bible does God communicate through dreams?

I’m not talking about dreaming about a new car, or something tangible like that. That’s a desire you can slowly work too. I’m mainly speaking about, dreams that sit somewhere inside us that we can’t possible get to on our own. When you meet Jesus, everything changes. A huge majority of that change is inward, why is it inwardly? Because we live inwardly. Think about it, are hearts pump blood through out our bodies. Cells produce in minutes time, making you, you. If the heart stops, we die.
We are inward out beings, how we feel about ourselves on the inside reflects outwardly in our moods and over all out look. If you think your life is a big dirty trash can full of poop, it will be. If look for the good in all things, chances are the outcome will much brighter. I am an optimist at heart, but that does not mean that bad days will not find me, because it does most of the time. But you keep getting back up. You moving foward no matter what.
Keep dreaming, take more walks. Read some good books. All well be okay.
-Brandon

How many of you with some kind of impairment or challenge have felt left behind because you were not accepted? How many of you wanted to be given a chance to show your talents and abilities to the world around you? And, how many of you wanted to move forward with a positive attitude, but were held back because it was inconvenient for someone else?
What a shame it is that a country so vast, so smart, and so sophisticated turns its back on the talents and needs of the most under-developed population. Not so much the visually, or hearing impaired; but individuals with Cerebral Palsy and other mobility or speech impairments which are either left to solve there own problems, or are locked away in group homes, or forced to be monitored by an army of social workers who want total control of there being. Moreover, we are told time and again that we are incapable and cannot work. We are told to our faces that it’s better for everyone if we just stay at home, aren’t seen, and collect a social security check for the rest of our lives.
How sad is that? How sad is it that a group of people or a government of people will not accept us as human beings. How sad is it that we are put here on this earth, but have to struggle all our lives!
What is wrong with the picture? And, what is wrong with the world? And why do “we” have to suffer? Why?
I can’t live with this injustice, discrimination, and humiliation any more! Why, you might be asking yourself? Because this happened to me. So I’m the first to balk. I’ll be the first to admit the truth. And I’ll be the first to share it honestly and openly with the world so that good change can come from it.
Has this happened to you?

These “experts” have only one set of options. And these options don’t usually include making our lives better. What’s more, is that these options limit rather than increase our control over our own lives. It segregates us from society, and denies us our birth right and equal status as individuals and Americans. We were put on this earth to have the opportunity to develop and make use of whatever talents and brains that God gave us. Just because we were paralyzed does not mean we don’t have sense about us to think, act, or perform a given task, or duty we would love to do. Why shouldn’t we then, be treated or given the same opportunities? Are we so ugly to look at, we have to be locked away in a closet?
Time after time, we do as we are told like good little children, although we get nowhere fast. Once again, we are not taken seriously, and we are disrespected and discounted. This must end! And so must these despicable attitudes from people who make up a world who don’t want anything to do with us or change.

What does it feel like to give birth to something that no one else has ever conceived of? And what does it feel like to bring to the forefront idea’s that could change disabled men and women’s lives for ever? Well, I’ll tell you. I think it takes a dedicated, in-tune, and highly motivated person to bring ideas to the front- line of society which no one else has had the courage to challenge.
The birth of Audacity Magazine has opened the doors, I’m sure for many. Not just for those writers, like me, who have some kind of physical disability or special needs who audaciously want to make this not only a better place for others, but also wants to bring a cutting-edge approach to those issues at hand, that affect so many of us; which are so easily swept under the carpet. But, also, has brought food for thought for 6 years now to all of its readers and subscribers.
This magazine has brought to its readers a cheeky, daring, and fearless way of approaching the truth from a different perspective and point of view. Its angle has come from the disability community. Its thoughts! Its words! And, all its power! Focusing, directly, on the issues of the day-
I’m sure; the birth of this magazine took to heart all the issues and fragile topics of its disabled population. I’m sure, that when the first issue appeared online; it was a very happy, joyous, momentous, occasion. I’m sure it brought an inward satisfaction to Natasha, the founder of Audacity. To see something materialize, from nothing; and to be shaped, formed, and molded from scratch, that truly, must have been gratifying, indeed. And, to be so focused, so dedicated, and so committed to nurture, and develop, story after story, month after month, year, after year, took much planning, much pride, and much perseverance.
To have the ability to not only write, and to educate, but to shape and influences other people’s thoughts and views is highly commendable. It takes a person with great vision to broaden one’s opinion and scope- it takes an idea, an act, and a concept to bring such a dream to pass. It took a creative energy, to bring about the birth of this magazine. Thus, let’s light Audacity’s birthday cake with 7 brightly lit candles, to light its way for its fruitful year ahead.

Often, the reality of our disabilities can lead to an increased instance of depression. Our physical scars may have heeled, but the physiological and sociological have not. Ninety-nine people out of one hundred and forty-four; according to a recent study linked their learning disabilities with depression and other depressive disorders. This is the result of a lack of flexibility in the education process. Students are often placed with those with emotional and behavior problems. Teachers are therefore, unable to give the time needed to each individual student because they must serve as baby-sitters to those who do not wish to participate in the learning process.
Yet, within each of us their remains a strong desire to discover “the secret.” This means, that, most people given patience, tolerance, and a relaxed environment can learn and succeed. This success will reinforce the positive aspects of each person’s life. Every achievement from traveling the world wide, to putting on a dinner is note worthy and valuable. The memory of past achievements can sometimes serve as a reminder in the depth of suffering that this current sadness will not last.
Many students can look back and remember that one parent, teacher, or friend who took the time to find it within themselves, to figure out just what that person needed to thrive, survive, and to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Often, just as much as the chemical imbalance, feelings of depression, and low self-esteem, come from a sense that a person is entirely alone. The awareness, that in fact, everyone wants an individual to in fact, succeed, can be very liberating. There is an old saying which demonstrates this idea. “Only if you have been in the deepest pit of sorrow, loss, and despair, can you ever know how magnificent it is to climb to the to of the highest mountain.”

In my last article, I wrote about people bullying others. Well today, my dear readers, I am going to take this topic a step further. I am going to expand and give more detail about how this thinking applies in other parts of our lives. The hardest part of our existences; whether disabled or not, is learning to get along with everybody. It is in the learning to maneuver, in staying neutral, and the ability to adapt, and adjust, that we find our greatest challenges and joys. Many in our community must be very smart in finding a way to alter outworn concepts about what we are capable of. When a person has to spends three and a half decades trying to make the degree they won pay off, in terms of the job they deserve without much luck, something is defiantly and undeniably wrong. Still, when doctorial candidates’ will travel the world wide, prove they are capable of making and taking the journey, and come home only to be told by a group of experts that they are better off in a workshop; something unmistakably is wrong. Why is it that when a person such as myself wants to achieve and go forth with their degrees or desires they are subtly blocked and artfully discredited. What is it that has damaged the thinking of our countries leadership? I can not understand why genuine leaders are ignored while people get degrees in phone sex, and jobs based on a false concept of sympathy rather on ability. What makes our drive unnoticed? What make our situation so different. And what makes people so reluctant to help us and hire us? That is the hardest thing to deal with, the awareness that we are tolerated not included. And we come off to these experts as “non included, separated; after thoughts.” Thus, the people in our community are an untapped resource. All of our problem solving, all of our flexibility, and all of our talents are going to sheer waste. Decade, after decade, after decade!
Never in the United States history, has our country been in grater need of a group of individuals, skilled in problem-solving, time management, flexibility, and a strong will. Never in its history have they looked beyond book documentation to free and let our people have the chances, the opportunities, and the favorable time or set circumstance to do a job they so deserve. Every one of you reading this article has accomplished many great challenges, I’m sure. We are conquering everyday problems which the rest of the world, I’m sure, couldn’t handle. If faced with our level of difficulty, most people would collapse at the onset. So, I ask you, what would be then, so terrible, awful, or extremely bad, about turning us all loose to over-come and take control of our own lives and problems. Thus, I ask you again, candidly, What would be so dreadful if we were finally given a change. What would be so horrific if we were able to sit down at the table, equally, amongst our peers, and leaders? What would be so shocking, if all of us; not just the select few of our excepted leaders, in our community, could actively influence policy. What would be so earth-shattering if people were willing to analyze and inculcate our views about the contribution we are making to society.
How could this be possible? It is definitely simpler than it looks. We only have to abandon the comfortable idea that experts will make all our decisions and supply all our wants. I ask you , again. What is wrong with that picture? The frame does not fit, nor, is the color correct. So, we must make a new picture. We must take back the right to determine our own path.

Recently, I have been subjected and exposed to spending time with a specific group of people whom, I’d really rather not keep company with at all. But, because I had no other choice; and, because I do my emotional home work to look beyond all past experiences, I did my utmost to make good out of an on-going, negative, one sided, opinionated event, so I agreed.
However, in spite of all my hard work, and my good-naturedness, I was conversely made to be the enemy. I was conversely used and taken advantage of solely so my company could achieve their means to there end. Once again, these experiences have taught me another life altering lesson. Whether they have been immediate family, or sheer acquaintances, I have learned once again that there aren’t two people in this vast universe who see things exactly alike.
There is a much larger, grander issue here. This issue concerns a comfort level of ordinary people with those with disabilities, stepping out into full and self-directed participation in life. This issue is not something everyone is use to. This concern is at its root, a fear of having to approach events with honesty and directness. The facts of our lives require a forthrightness most of society has abandoned. Most of the world conducts itself with comfortable, passive, banality. People would rather not be reminded that the world is more complex than they would like to believe.
Thankfully, our achievements have broken down the old out-moted views which seemed to be comfortable for most. In everything we say and do, we are forcing the world to understand that disability does not mean isolation in comfortable seclusion. Nor, does it mean, to directly hurt someone in pursuit of a goal. Rather, we are stretching body, mind, and spirit towards our place in the sunshine.

Isn’t it interesting, that still, in today’s society, we find indentations and grooves chiseled out in our expansive society which tries to prevent and stop our disabled population, our seniors, our financially limited person, and the less affluent from truly surviving, staying a float, or earning a decent living of their own.

How many times have you seen in the lower economic areas prices being hiked up, and increased? You would think it would be just the opposite, wouldn’t you? Well, that is not the case at all. Prices seem to soar and swell in the location and locality that need to hang on to it the most. Even though our funds are limited, and we want to use our cash wisely, we cannot. We are looked at differently, talked to differently, and come across with a different social and economic regard. We are in an unlike economic community that has been lock in, dead bolted, and padlocked for life.

The money in which we receive from one’s supplemental income aught not be frittered away by the interested parties which specifically aim, and aspire to zero in and target. Where is the social justice and the true moral concern? Where is the moral competence of big business or government to rein in and stop these unfairness’? When will big brother take responsibility and be accountable for their acts of immoral travesties? And, when will they stop taking advantage of, and stop gouging the weakest link.

If you look carefully you will find your friendly neighborhood markets, gas stations, medical facilities, employers, prescription drug companies, independent living facilities, transportation services; all giving us the least amount of respect, supply, and conveniences, for the most buck! They smile at us sweetly while they score and gouge us royally. We pay more out of pocket expenses while the pharmaceutical drug companies profit and get rich.

We as a community are sadly being faced with the realities of price discrimination while being charged retail prices. We are penalized economically, by being strictly limited by a basic welfare wage. First because we are a less net cost to society; and second, because we are disabled. We are exploited. It cost the government more to train us, teach us, coach us; and get equipment for us, thus, as a result, we are denied and deterred employment. We are subjugated in the unjust way that we are because the disabled are so called “in a depended role,” we daily, are not to be taken seriously. Nor, can we be represented because of this. They are not meeting our needs at all- we live well below poverty level, yet what positive actions do we see the government and all it constituents to make a difference in our lives? Do they do anything to help those who what to do something about there own circumstances? Do they reach there hand out to help us climb out and move up the ladder?

We also are charged double the price for prescription drugs, while drug makers are giving favor to their most valued customers. Because of our enormous collective buying power, we, the Medicare beneficiary practice price discrimination. Moreover, how many of us in the last three or four years pay for a Medicare prescription drug plan monthly, but don’t use it at all because we can’t take drugs due to allergies or allergic reactions towards them? It seems as though our monthly checks don’t even get us through the month. The more we try to rise out of the trenches of the system, the more stumbling blocks, obstructions, and blockades we have to scale. We are not treated with a social justice or a moral competence. We as the disable community pay extra coast out of pocket which we really don’t have. There are laws which have been put together to pray on the weakest in society.

So what will you say or do to help to change this desperately needed basis?

Now is your time to speak out. Take a risk. Stand up for yourself and for your life, and what you rightfully deserve. Let your voice be heard. Pay it forward. While you help yourself, you will be standing up, and positioning yourself to form an ever lasting link. Let your voice be that moral voice to be reckoned with. Don’t be afraid of your politician, your friends, or family and what they may say or think. I’m sure they will respect you if not now, later! Speak out for what you believe in! Reach out to make your thoughts and feelings known! If you don’t share them, these politicians will never know! That is the only way change will ever happen. That is the only way we will be taking action to make this a kinder gentler place for all of us. We will become partners in the disabled community, and our voices will be heard. That is the only way we will be recognized. The only way we will be taken seriously, And, the only way we will be listen to!
Let us unite. Let us come together. We must join forces. We must bridge the gap, more now than ever before. We must share our stories with people in power and office. We must make a difference in our community and society. It all starts with us- We must speak out with everything we’ve got- In this way; we will form a bond, a friendship, an attachment, and a connection that can never be broken.

We will form a more perfect union to pass on to other generations to come. We must speak out and make that difference to change laws and regulations that prey on the weakest person in society. We must engage ourselves in what ever way we can to make our voices, our word, our influence, our right-to-be-heard, our vote, or even our own say so to bring equality and justice for disabled people nation wide to enact equality for all. We must not think twice of judging or condemning. We must not look down upon ourselves or our name as disabled human beings. We need to work together, as a team to vindicate and restore our sweet name as disabled men and woman who did not choose to be handicap at all or be paralyzed with special needs. And, most importantly, we must put a stop towards this inhumane, immoral, unsocial way of life. We must fill up every hole and crack, and have each of our priceless penny’s begin to count.

During the last month, I have experienced a good many aha moments. Moments of clarity, moments of enlightenment, and moments of vision. All leading me to develop a deeper sense of myself and the life I live, and am committed too. A life that I have led with purpose, meaning, dignity, and desire. It has been a worthwhile journey with all its upheavals, challenges, changes, and, cataclysm events.

Because of this, I now can delight in the magnificent moments I have, the wonderment of my own growth, and, the opportunities to share with others. I have been blessed with the ability to focus in on the good, the positive, the inherent attributes I have achieved, as well as have been invoked with some kind of divine favor, by which I have been given the good fortune, possession, and talent to give it away freely while gently empowering others.

I have continued to receive great pleasure and delight from my many acts of courage. To go where no one else has ever gone before. To make straight my way, and, to shed light in a way never heard before. This light is beaming brightly because I listened to my own drummer. Because I felt my own heartbeat, and because I would not take no for an answer. I made my way through this harsh, cold, unpalatable, cruel world. And am making a seat at the table.
I have never cease to keep my vision alive. I have never cease my dreams, nor have I stagnated in the act to become the best person I could become on all levels of my being. Physically, I exercised. Emotionally, I let go of old ways, ideas, and beliefs, adopting new ones in its place. And spiritually, I not only envisioned today, but I envisioned my future, and how I wanted to change my life’s journey. It took me a while to figure out how my life was going to unfold, when it was going to take place, and when it was going to come to fruition! My whole life’s journey has been a series of passages and quest, towards an ultimate diurnum, in my souls pathway toward a balanced, harmonic, way of life.

I finally feel like I have words to share with you all. I’ve been wanting to update for a while now, but I’ve felt a bit “Stuck” if you will. Like when your car is stuck some where, and no matter how hard you try to force your car out of the mud or snow. It just keeps getting harder and harder. And sometimes a helping hand is in need.

For the past year and some odd months, there has been words forming in me. Almost like chapters and ideas, examples of things that need to be scribbled down. I have been holding off from writing anything, as far as manuscript worthy because I simply refuse to write something similar to something I’ve already written in the past.
And now it seems I’ve stumbled upon something new, (new to me) thought provoking, fusterating, confusing and something even that can make me very uncomfortable. I find myself at a very weird place in life, in all aspects. For the sake of honesty, I want to say that maybe, I have lost sight of who God is to me.

I’ve lost it. Or him. In the ramblings of pastors, christians, other perspectives and voices in the world. No I am not renouncing Jesus or the Bible, so please don’t wet your pants right away. We don’t need you to do that right now!

You know, we humans are so very small in this world, I think we forget how small we are. Christians believe in something called ”The Body of Christ”, which is another word for community, but how is this? Have we ever opened our eyes and seen how divided we are, amongst ourselves?

I mean honestly. In one corner we have Christians shouting: “God hates you!”
And in the other: “Peace bro, hang ten man, its all about love!” (That was my surfs up impression, great movie!)

And in another: “We are fifty times more right then you, and you shall burn in hell for your sins!” (Like that helps!?)

Oh, and one other, those people with their bull horns.. you probably need to find another way… seriously.

And there’s me. I feel like I’m in the cross fire of it all. I was telling someone the other day, the image/vision that pops into my head when I experience this. Its like myself and Jesus (The Jewish Rabbi, not rock star) are looking at each other face to face, and these crowds of Christians are shouting their agendas at me, and I’m not even sure what the truth is anymore. But I know in my heart, that I simply adore this Rabbi and teacher. And would gladly follow him. If only this chaos would stop.

So yes, what is forming inside is indeed a second book. And it will be the best thing I have ever written.
I love you all. Go in peace.
-Brandon

A Beam of Light

During the last month, I have experienced a good many aha moments. Moments of clarity, moments of enlightenment, and moments of vision. All leading me to develop a deeper sense of myself and the life I live, and am committed too. A life that I have led with purpose, meaning, dignity, and desire. It has been a worthwhile journey with all its upheavals, challenges, changes, and, cataclysm events.

Because of this, I now can delight in the magnificent moments I have, the wonderment of my own growth, and, the opportunities to share with others. I have been blessed with the ability to focus in on the good, the positive, the inherent attributes I have achieved, as well as have been invoked with some kind of divine favor, by which I have been given the good fortune, possession, and talent to give it away freely while gently empowering others.

I have continued to receive great pleasure and delight from my many acts of courage. To go where no one else has ever gone before. To make straight my way, and, to shed light in a way never heard before. This light is beaming brightly because I listened to my own drummer. Because I felt my own heartbeat, and because I would not take no for an answer. I made my way through this harsh, cold, unpalatable, cruel world. And am making a seat at the table.
I have never cease to keep my vision alive. I have never cease my dreams, nor have I stagnated in the act to become the best person I could become on all levels of my being. Physically, I exercised. Emotionally, I let go of old ways, ideas, and beliefs, adopting new ones in its place. And spiritually, I not only envisioned today, but I envisioned my future, and how I wanted to change my life’s journey. It took me a while to figure out how my life was going to unfold, when it was going to take place, and when it was going to come to fruition! My whole life’s journey has been a series of passages and quest, towards an ultimate diurnum, in my souls pathway toward a balanced, harmonic, way of life.